Bullying effects psychology and practical methods to beat it

When I was in 10th standard, a student always irritated me while studying.

The reason was that he thought I was a weak person because I focus more on my study rather than spending time on bullshit.

So one day I decided if he comes here again I will beat him, so that’s exactly what happened,

he came again and this time I backfire and throw him many punches, he was too shocked to see my reaction and he freezes.

The teacher took him away to the principal office but I was left because of my reputation as a good student.

The next day he came to me and we become friends.

But bullying is not just a physical game it starts with the mind,

in life not every people, uses force to bully us but there are other methods too.

So what is bullying actually

To simply put bullying is forcing your will or desires on other people by force or psychological pressures such as guilt , shame etc.

Yes, you have heard it right bullying is not just physical abuse .

It can be done verbally or emotionally.

Do you know that silent treatment of a person is a form of emotional abuse?

Ignoring the person’s presence is crueler than verbally abusing him/her or beating.

Psychology of bully (whats inside the head of bully)

Let’s take a journey inside the mind and thoughts of a bully and understand why he does these kinds of things.

1 ) There are many reasons but the profound reason was that

he also was or is a victim of some bully who is stronger than him.

And in his own disability to combat that person he gets his frustration out on weak people and feels good.

2) He/she is jealous of the person in comparison to looks or skills so they try to put that person down

because they themselves are not capable to match them on equal parse.

3) They are under pressure from their friend’s circle that are bullies

but really don’t want but they do in order to stay with their friend’s circle.

So in psychological terms, they are a hurt and psychologically ill person 

they really need love and good friendship that can help them to fix their broken heart.

How can a person deal with such bullies in life

First, you need to understand why I get bullied by people.

This is a profound question that must be asked because without acknowledging the actual problem we can not solve the issue.

Why am i get bullied ?

There are a few answers I came up with maybe it is different from yours but I am talking general public here.

1) Physical weakness

You need to find out about your physical condition,

are you confident enough to face your bully and say calmly that you are doing wrong without hatred and anger?

2) Mental weakness

If you are physically weak it can be ignored but mental weakness is the only way somebody can push you to corners.

If the mind is strong body can go on, but if the mind is weak, the body can not move.

3) Too much kindness , compassion 

Yes, this is also a weakness nowadays and I am a victim of this.

Although I am physically and mentally capable of defending myself.

I still let other people go due to my own kindness and I choose to leave the person after giving 3 warnings to improve their wrong behaviors.

So yes kindness can be seen as a weakness nowadays and you are prone to be psychologically bullied by your close friends, family, and lover.

How am I to work on my weaknesses to counter bullying

1) Become physically strong

Become strong not in order to beat the bully or become a bully but in order to prevent yourself from being bullied.

It is quite easy you just need to do weight lifting, eat the right food and join some martial art class like karate judo, etc.

This training not only builds confidence in you but is also helpful in all parts of your life.

So now you can not only protect yourself but protect and teach other victims to become strong.

2) Become mentally strong

I really like the philosophy of Mahatma Gandhi in dealing with such bullies.

As you know Mahatma Gandhi was not physically strong and yet he didn’t let anybody bully him.

What he did was – he attacked on the psychology of bully.

He takes out willingness and hatred from his bully and makes him understand that he was doing the wrong thing.

Without using any physical force.

His weapon was truth and nonviolence.

Take the willingness of a person to fight and you will win every battle if you are doing the right thing.

3) Dont let your kindness get you bullied

There are people mostly your loved ones that knowingly use your kindness to make you do something which you don’t want.

They use your kindness and guilt in order to fulfill their desires.

And the hardest truth is they know you are kind-hearted and will do anything not to hurt other people.

So I say fuck these pathological psychos that use our guilt to make us do something.

Next time someone tries to make you do something say “No” calmly and assertively it’s not our duty to fulfill everyone’s desires.

Living for yourself is the only best thing you need to do . Help only those that you want to help and say no when you don’t want.

Dont let them use your kindness against you.

Takeaway

Some personal advice-

@ Never hate your bully, only love can erase hate not more hate.

@ Be the big person in the room and forgive.

Forgiveness is not for them it’s for our own freedom of mind

@ Forgive but do not forget and don’t tolerate intentional insolence.

@Choose to leave the person for your own sake even its relationship, friends, or family. If they can’t give you respect and love.

You deserve better people anyway.